elvellon (fuuh) wrote in lordoftheragu,

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this day will live in infamy

holy shit. . .LOTRagu has updated, with profiles about the Two Towers characters! AHH!

name: Eomer
Favorite Food: anything but Le Uruk-Hai
Favorite Pasttime: puckering Wormtongue's lips, pretending not to warmonger but really does

name: Eowyn
age: teen motherhood
Favorite Food: pickles and icecream
Favorite Pasttime: pretending to be a man infront of the mirror, Lamaze, Pimp King Aragorn's big noodle, hating Arwen

name: Grima Wormtongue
age: eyebrow-less
Favorite Food: Eowyn
Favorite Pasttime: wiping two-ply on his bleeding lips for saruman to use/reading the Rohan Times on the toilet, brainwashing, forgetting to look out windows, whining like a baby to what he wants ("I toooooold you to take the wizard's staff!), touching Theoden's wrinkles

name: Hama (guy who has a bad actor and likes to stalk Theoden)
age: who cares
Favorite Food: Limburger Cheese
Favorite Pasttime: talking as if he is crying or as if he has a stick up his ass, making big deals out of Helm's Deep

name: Gandalf the White
age: 1
Favorite Food: cookies, lemons
Favorite Pasttime: Collecting Plug-it Ins and putting them on top of his staff, making pimp signs with his hand unnoticeably while riding Shadowfax

name: Theoden
age: alive, unlike his son
Favorite Food: Amniotic Fluid
Favorite Pasttime: Delivering babies (like Eowyn's), fake crying/trying to surpass Gimli's fake crying, fake accents (Bilbo hates those), acting as if he isnt scared of Helm's Deep (because he hates Hama), nodding his head in a friendly manner

name: Kathleen Turner peon
age: really ugly
Favorite Food: soup that she couldnt get because she didnt go with her kids to Edoras
Favorite Pasttime: crying like Kathleen Turner in The Virgin Suicides, being drunk like Kathleen Turner, loving Roger Rabbit like Kathleen Turner, playing patty-cake like Kathleen Turner, fighting with Michael Douglas about their home like Kathleen Turner, wearing shades of brown

name: Aragorn's wimpy son
age: he might be like, 4 days old but he looks like 15
Favorite Food: the bloodshed of war
Favorite Pasttime: talking to Aragorn and not knowing its his daddy, talking like a girl, growing hair like a girl, optimistic loser

name: Haldir
age: the fragile age of a senior in high school
Favorite Food: musicccccccc and piizzaaaaaaa
Favorite Pasttime: manicures, hair styling, campaigns for being the prom queen, being prom queen, being the most popular girl in school, staying a virgin until her wedding night, slumber parties

name: Faramir
age: bachelor
Favorite Food: Osgiliath bon-fire roasted marshmellows
Favorite Pasttime: listening to Tiny Tim, being forced to act like his brother, being nagged at by the "OSGILIATH BURNS!" guy, being turned on by crying Frodo, posting his webcam pictures up for lovely single college girls

name: Gollum/Smeagol
age: shrivelled up grandma age
Favorite Food: a garden salad with light caeser dressing
Favorite Pasttime: being a kodak baby, singing for Kidz Bop, buying fashion designer loin cloths, talking like an old mexican man, sleeping against adobe houses with his sombrero shading his eyes, using the ring for his kinky bondage

name: Treebeard
age: oldest fuck in Middle-Earth
Favorite Food: alcohol
Favorite Pasttime: binging, getting strokes and enjoying them, wishing he were dead, writing suicide notes to Quickbeam and the Entmoot, carving death threats in random Ents' barks, getting turned on by pulling root-feet out of side of mountain, making power hits, RELEASING THE RIVAR
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