lordoftheragu's Journal

One Sauce to Rule them All
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All Members , Moderated
Trowadriel's Voice: Once upon a time, in a place magical and very friendly, a happy chef made some sauce. *serious music* This sauce was like no other. He decided to put this to good use. So, he gave 3 plastic containers of sauce to the three elven kings, wisest and fairest of them all. And 7 containers to the dwarf lords who uh...are big eaters. And 9...9 containers to the race of men. These men have no special meaning.
But anyway....some evil guy, we've never even heard of...named....Sauron....was a close friend of the preppy chef. and he got jealous. So in the lands of Mordor he created in his giant Pot of Doom, the ultimate sauce. One Sauce to Rule Them All.

*fire from the pot blazes up*

Trowadriel Voice Again: Fierce Battles across the now unhappy Middle-Earth were bad, so bad that they were just bad and no one could make it. Until during a final battle, a chef named Whatshistoe stood against Sauron and his mighty sauce. Sauron breathed heavily on the chef guy and he died. His son, the waiter was so sad, he stood against Sauron but got scared and ran. So everything was hopeless. Until Sauron gave birth to Gollum and Gollum ran away with the Sauce. He was so scared of his mother Sauron, he dug himself deep into the Misty Mountains where Bilbo was having tea. Somehow Bilbo got the Sauce and ended up back at the Shire.

And so...our delicious meal begins.................................................


Fuudo Baggins
Katwise Gamgee
Leeniadoc Brandybuck (Leeny)
Ameragrin Took (Mippin)
Gimli the Pirate
Pimp King Aragorn
Arwen Kevin Kelly
Nazgul Mafia
Gandalf the wet nurse
Bilbo, Gandalf's child
Joey Bombadil
Elrond, the guy who gives people candy.
Barliman Butterbur, the guy who hides in corners masturbating

111th birthday, ambiguous sexuality, ameragrin took, arwen kevin kelly, bag end, balrogmir, barliman butterbur, bilbo, blazing up, blood, brain washing, breadsticks, breakdancing, breaking bread, breast milk, breast milk from gandalf, cave chef, chicken dance, chicken parm, chicken parm star, chuck e. cheese, covered in cheese, crying orcs, denethor munchiwunchies, drugs, eleventy first, elrond, fake crying, fat matt, fuudo, fuudo baggins, gamling, gandalf, genderless, gimli, gimli porn, gimli the pirate, gollum, great steeds, kathleen turner, katwise, katwise gamgee, kodak babies, lamaze, le uruk-hai, leeniadoc brandybuck, leeny, lord of the ragu, lord of the rings, man flesh, many lives, maury povich, middle-earth, mines, mippin, mozzarella stick forged anew, mozzarella sticks, music & pizza, nazgul mafia, on top of isengard, osgiliath burning, p.t., parmesean cheese, pessimism, pierat, pimp king aragorn, pints, pipeweed, pissing, plug-it ins, ragu, raspberry breast milk, rosie the town whore, sauce, scary faces, senior prom, sharing the load, shire, shitting turds, singing pizza man, singing songs, studs, suicidal ents, the burger king, the eagles, the one ragu, the one sauce, tom bombadil, trowadriel, turds, vegolas, weed, whining, wolfcon